To be called beautiful, and have it actually mean something.

To have doors opened for me, and cute little smiles exchanged.

Be taken on cute, surprise dates and be driven. Not do the driving.

To fight over the bill, and actually lose.

To be swept off my feet and have the butterflies always in my stomach.

I want someone to want me, to miss me even though we just parted.

Cute little surprises, just simple things, like a single flower picked from my own garden and snuggles on the couch.

I now know that I don’t have to put up with being treated poorly. Always expected to pay for, everything and drive everywhere and walked all over.

As rough as things are for the moment, it is upwards and onward from here.

I hope.

I am rather happy with how everything is at the moment. There are some aspects that i would like to change but once some major changes are implemented, those will follow.

Flying to Bali Saturday, i will miss my boyfriend incredibly but will have the most amazing experience when i return home.

When i return home i can pack up and move into my own home, which will allow me more time for myself and to see my friends.

Yayayayay ^___^.

I love how you, my ‘dad’ sought me out yet you have not spoken to me since September. Then i find out that you have been conversing with my brother every single week.

Oh and i have to find out that i have four other fucking siblings through him. Not you. Him. Then find out he also speaks to ‘aunty deb’ 3-4 times a week. How can she not even take out the time to speak to me. At all.

It is always about him. He cannot do wrong by anyone. Of course i am always the one forgotten or copping the blame because of everyone else’s mistakes.

Get fucked.

Sitting in the park across from the house i spent half my childhood in.

Where has time gone? Everything used to be so simple. Spending my childhood rollerblading down the hill (mind you i was very young and it used to be gigantic, it is how ever a very slight decline), eating straight jelly crystals, playing with my barbies and watching one of the neighbour girls father paint a giant dolphin mural on her bedroom wall.

Is still remember mum putting me on her lap whilst she was driving up, what i thought at that age was a ‘big hill’ and she let me steer the car, all the way from the bottom of the hill, around the corner and into the driveway. I felt to big and important.

I am growing up, everything is getting complicated and i should be working out what i want in life. I don’t want to.

I got told my old house got knocked down, i don’t want to turn the corner and look. So many memories gone in a flash.

My brothers 6 or 7th birthday party, him getting mad that i won pass the parcel and the super awesome Mickey Mouse stationary set.

Playing hide and seek in the hallway cupboard, knowing my brother was there yet slamming the door shut and causing two of his nails to fall off.

The guinea pigs we had, batman and robin and the huge frills neck lizard that lived next to our shed.

Being sent to bed and me whining that i wanted my alpha-gettie.

When my brother and me used to get along and when i didn’t feel like a constant disappointment to my mother. When i didn’t feel like a failure.

When i was happy.

And you are under the impression the only person that genuinely makes you smile, without a doubt, cannot stand you.

Surrounded by all these.absolutely stunning females. Currently feeling like the lowest piece of, whatever is really really low. Fuckkkkkyeaaaaahsydney.

This continual doubt in you. In everything is taking it’s toll. It is stupid and probably un needed, yet it may be completely reasonable doubt. Give me something, anything to ease my mind.

I could not be any happier with my life right now. I love Kimberley. I love Bianca. Although my life is far from perfect. Right now. At this very moment. My life is perfect.

I look forward to our attempt of driving to Sydney without repeating a song over. Lamest, Best, Oldest songs. We are boss.

(Feel free to add/suggest to this list!)

The Maine

- Girls do what they want
- I must be dreaming
- We All Roll Along
- Don’t Stop Now

All Time Low

- Jasey Rae
- Dear Maria
- Six Feet Under The Stars
- Remembering Sunday
- Poppin’ Champagne
- Shameless

Paramore

- Crushcrushcrush
- Misery Business
- Fences
- For A Pessimist, I’m Pretty Optimistic
- Ignorance

Never Shout Never

- Can’t Stand It
- I love you 5
- Jane Doe
- I Just Laugh

You Me At Six

- The Truth Is A Terrible Thing
- Gossip
- Call That A Comeback?
- Take Off Your Colours
- Always Attract
- Finders Keepers
- Save It For The Bedroom
- Jealous Minds Think Alike
- Underdog
- Liquid Confidence
- Rescue Me

We The Kings

- Secret Valentine
- Skyway Avenue
- Check Yes Juliet
- This Is Our Town
- All Again For You
- We’ll Be A Dream
- Friday Is Forever

Fall Out Boy

- 20 Dollar Nose Bleed
- Champagne For My Real Friends, Real Pain For My Sham Friends
- Dance Dance
- Disloyal Order Of Water Buffaloes
- Fame < Infamy
- G.I.N.A.S.F.S
- Headfirst Slide Into Cooperstown On A Bad Bet
- I Don’t Care
- I Slept With Someone In Fall Out Boy And All I Got Was This Stupid Song Written About Me
- I’ve Got A Dark Alley And A Bad Idea That Says You Should Shut Your Mouth
- I’m Like A Lawyer With The Way I’m Always Trying To Get You Off
- Nobody Puts Baby In The Corner
- Of All The Gin Joints In All The World
- Our Lawyers Made Us Change The Name Of This Song So We Wouldn’t Get Sued
- Sophmore Slump Or Comeback Of The Year
- Sugar, We’re Goin’ Down
- W.A.M.S

The Getaway Plan

- Shadows
- Sleep Spindles
- Streetlight
- Strings
- Vesper
- Where The City Meets The Sea

Panic! At The Disco

- Build God, Then We’ll Talk
- I Write Sins Not Tragedies
- Lying Is The Most Fun A Girl Can Have Without Taking Her Clothes Off
- Ballad Of Mona Lisa
- There’s A Good Reason These Tables Aren’t Numbered Honey, You Just Haven’t Thought Of It Yet
- Northern Downpour

Mayday Parade

- Amber Lynn
- I Swear This Time I Mean It
- Bruised And Scarred
- I’d Hate To Be You When People Find Out What This Song Is About
- Jamie All Over
- Jersey
- Kids In Love
- Miserable At Best
- Terrible Things
- Three Cheers For Five Years
- Your Song
- You Be The Anchor That Keeps My Feet On The Ground, I’ll Be The Wings That Keep Your Heart In The Clouds

A Day To Remember

- You Be Tails, I’ll Be Sonic
- Downfall Of Us All
- My Life For Hire
- I’m Made Of Wax Larry, What Are You Made Of?
- Have Faith In Me
- If It Means Alot To You
- You Should Have Killed Me When You Had The Chance

Blink 182

- Feeling This
- Down
- Always

Miley Cyrus

- 7 Things
- Breakout
- Can’t Be Tamed
- Fly On The Wall
- Forgiveness And Love
- Girl’s Night Out
- Kicking And Screaming
- Let’s Dance
- Liberty Walk
- My Heart Beats For Love
- Party In The USA
- See You Again
- Start All Over
- Who Owns My Heart

Justin Bieber

- Baby
- Down To Earth
- Never Say Never
- One Less Lonely Girl
- U Smile
- Pray
- One Time
- Runaway Love
- Somebody To Love
- That Should Be Me

Hannah Montana

- We Got The Party
- Best Of Both Worlds
- Let’s Get Crazy
- Super Girl
- Rockstar
- Hoedown Throwdown

Jonas Brothers

- 7:05
- Australia
- Burnin’ Up
- Hold On
- A Little Bit Longer
- Lovebug
- Please Be Mine
- Poor Unfortunate Souls
- Pushin’ Me Away
- SOS
- That’s Just The Way We Roll
- Time For Me To Fly
- What I Go To School For
- When You Look Me In The Eyes

Missy Higgins

- Steer
- Scar
- The Special Two
- 10 Days
- Burn

Taylor Swift

- Come In With The Rain
- Crazier
- Fearless
- Forever And Always
- I Heart ?
- Love Story
- Back To December
- Innocent
- Our Song
- Picture To Burn

Avril Lavigne

- Complicated
- Girlfriend
- He wasn’t
- Hot
- Sk8er Boi

Jesse Mcartney

- Beautiful Soul
- She’s No You
- Right Where You Want Me
- Leavin’

Aaron Carter

- I Want Candy
- Crush On You
- Summer Time

Eiffel 65

- Blue

Wheatus

- Teenage Dirtbag

Hilary Duff

- So Yesterday
- Come Clean
- Little Voice
- Sweet Sixteen
- Why Not
- Girl Can Rock
- Fly
- Someone’s Watching Over Me
- Wake Up

Demi Lovato

- Believe In Me
- Don’t Forget
- Get Back
- La La Land

Nikki Webster

- Individuality
- Follow Your Heart
- Mirror, Mirror
- Red Light, Green Light
- Strawberry Kisses
- Dancing In The Streets

MC Hammer

- Too Legit To Quit
- U Can’t Touch This

Britney Spears

- Baby One More Time
- Break The Ice
- Crazy
- Don’t Go Knockin’ On My Door
- Don’t Let Me Be The Last To Know
- Everytime
- Hit Me Baby One More Time
- I Love Rock N’ Roll
- I’m A Slave For You
- I’m A Girl Not Yet A Woman
- I’m A Slave For You
- My Perogative
- Oops I Did It Again
- Overprotected
- Satisfaction
- Slave 4 U
- Sometimes
- Stronger
- Toxic
- You Drive Me Crazy

Christina Aguleira

- Ain’t No Other Man
- Candy Man
- Carwash
- Come On Over
- Fighter
- Genie In A Bottle
- Lady Marmalade
- What A Girl Wants

Ashlee Simpson

- Boyfriend
- Outta My Head

Kelly Clarkson

- Miss Independent
- Since You’ve Been Gone
- Walk Away

Pussycat Dolls

- Don’t Cha’
- Feelin’ Good
- Hot Stuff
- Hush Hush
- I Don’t Need A Man
- Jai Ho
- When I Grow Up

Backstreet Boys

- Everybody
- I Want It That Way
- One In A Million

Spice Girls

- 2 become 1
- Never Give Up On The Good Times
- The Lady Is A Vamp
- Viva Forever
- Wannabe
- Stop
- Spice Up Your Life
- Mama

Simple Plan

- Welcome To My Life
- Perfect
- Untitled
- Addicted
- I’m Just A Kid
- Shut Up!

Aqua

- Barbie Girl
- Doctor Jones
- Lollipop
- My Oh My
- Roses Are Red
- Turn Back Time
- Around The World
- Cartoon Heros
- Happy Boys And Girls

S Club 7

- Don’t Stop Moving
- Reach
- S Club Party
- Two In A Million

Eminem

- 8 Mile
- Cleanin’ Out My Closet
- Crack a Bottle
- Curtains Close
- Encore
- Loose Yourself
- Like Toy Soldiers
- Mockingbird
- My Name Is

Ricky Martin

- Livin’ La Vida Loca
- She Bangs
- Shake Your Bon-Bon

Shania Twain

- Man! I feel like a woman!

The Venga Boys

- Boom Boom Boom Boom
- We Like To Party